Been a long week

It's friday. Looking back over the week, it's seems to have dragged by. But perhaps it was purely because I was writing so many different sales letters, emails and ads and putting in some long days. Well whatever, another week over.

I aquired 3 new clients this week. One will surely be a millionaire within the next 12 to 18 months, thanks in part to my exceptional sales letter. One will make a load of sales but will most likely have to refund most of them, because the product is crap and the other is will make sweet FA. Why, because he's an amateur and just hasn't got a clue.

He hopes to make a fortune selling some shitty little ebook on ebay. Worst part is, the bastard hasn't paid me yet for writing a brilliant sales letter for his website and an ebay ad. It really does get right up my nose, when someone like him, with no talent whatsoever, asks me to write his shit with no intention of paying. This is my living. He's stealing my living, my bread and butter.

But shit happens! He won't make a single penny on ebay. I'll personally see to it. I have ways and contacts in this business. I have a feeling his website will experience a few major problems also. I'm going to put a hall of shame on my site. I'll name them and shame them. They won't be able to hide forever.

Right! Got that off my chest.

I had to take my dog to the vet yesterday. I've got a German Shepherd, called Taz. His ears have become totally bunged up with gunge and he won't let me near them. It's been causing him some distress, so off we went.

Vets always like to give your pet a thorough examination, helps to justify their extortionate fees. "Is there anything else wrong with him, only he looks a bit depressed?" She asked. I told her he was depressed beacause his ears were all bunged up. "Well I'll just check him over while he's here" She said. I thought, well okay if you insist.

She started to feel around his stomach, and asked if he'd eaten anything unusual. "No, just the usual. His regular meals and the odd 3 day old lump of dog shit" I said. "Oh, don't worry it was his own crap" I added. She gave me a, just dropped my trousers and flashed, kind of look. You know, partly shocked and partly disgusted. Hey! He's a dog. That's what dogs do...don't they?

Well next, she listened to his heart beat. "Mmm, it's very slow" she said. Then she thinks it might be a good idea to check his temperature. This is going to be interesting, I thought. Taz is getting a little nervous by now. He's getting agitated by all the feeling and probing. "Can you hold his head while I insert this thermometer" She asks. "Er, wouldn't it be a good idea to muzzle him first" I enquired, sheepishly. "Oh I'm sure he'll be okay" she replied, or rather retorted.

I laid Taz on the floor and held his head firmly, while giving him the baby talk stuff. "Tazzy!, Tazzy wazzy! Who's my tazmina cabina? Yeah! I know. But that's how I communicate with my buddy.

Taz knew something wasn't right when she pulled his tail to one side. I could see it in his eyes. It was terror! I just knew he wasn't going to submit to this indignation. I was getting nervous! Then, all of a sudden, my lovely cuddly furry pal, changed almost instantly into a wild savage killer. His eyes glazed over, his gums rolled back, fully exposing his pure white bone crushing canines and a deep growl was emerging from the depths of his throat.

He swiftly turned toward the vet and made a lunge for her throat. Shit! I had to jump between them and beg Taz for her life. She stood there rooted to the spot holding out her thermometer for protection. I grabbed Taz's chain, opened the door to the main reception area and dragged him out. It took all my strength. By now he was barking like a banshee. He wanted blood, and he wanted her blood.

I managed to get him outside and tied him to a rail. I had to go back to see if this crazy/brave woman was still breathing. She was still rooted to the spot and looked lifeless. Her skin had taken on a strange milky white colour and her hair was standing to attention. "Are you okay?" I asked, shaking her arm for vital signs. After what seemed like a age, she sucked in a deep breath and replied. "Wow, that was scary. Look, I'm trembling" "you're not the only one" I said. "Well what about his ears" I asked, "Will you be able to clean them out for him?" "Bring him in again next Thursday morning, I'll have to sedate him" came the reply.

I took Taz home and gave him a bowl of cold water. Funny thing. I've noticed he won't turn his back on me, and he has a very suspicious look in his eye. It's going to take a while to win back his trust, me thinks.

This is a true story. There's no moral to it, but I guess there is some kind of lesson to be learned.

Till next time.

BFN

Bill Knight
www.knight-writer.co.uk

Ramblings of a writer

I'm Bill Knight, a professional, international copywriter. I was going to use this blog to give out advice to aspiring writers, but then I thought...what the hell. Why should I go around spouting on about what makes a good writer? Why should I give away all my sales and marketing knowledge? No-one would appreciate it anyway.

Instead, I'm just going to harp on about my work in general. You know? What I do each day, and some stuff about my many wonderful clients. Someone may be interested to know what goes on in the secretive world of copywriting, I thought.

Okay, well this is the first installment. Well, not really an installment, more of an introduction. I'm sort of pre-warning everyone, that I tell it as it is. I mean, I'm not afraid to say what I think, and I will!

For anyone interested, it should be interesting.

This blog is going to be about getting it off my chest. You know, all the things that really bug me. It could be work related or it could be just anything in general. It will be about whatever I decide it to be about, at the time of writing. Okay?

Good!

If at any time you feel like joining in, please feel free to express yourself.

I will.

Well that about raps up this informal introduction. My next offering will be much more indicative of a typical day in the life of...

Bet you can't wait!

BFN

Bill Knight
www.knight-writer.co.uk